Too Many Sheeps.

Sorry Gracia but you have quite definately identified youself as a sheep to fashion. Absolutely no pioneering or original thought happening there. Maybe I was unlucky and this week's issue is just a bit lacking in oomph. But from what I have read there is no way I am going back to look for any advice or ideas for future reference.



Congratulations. You have given a succinct summary of what was on the high street circa two months ago (Brogues, grunge like stuff ect). Not only that but have also given us an insight into how the young socialites are managing to leach onto the industry and imprint themselves for roughly one season before falling back onto their parental assets, buying a nice house in Notting hill or somewhere equally cliché. I'm not that cynical but there are certain things that get on my nerves. A major annoyance are meeks. Be bold! Make your own decisions. Just please, please, please do not be behind on basis of your glossy mag. One last thing. These stupid hats that everyone seems to be sending down the runways are really not good. They look at best very strange and most of the time just plain stupid. STOP NOW. Before someone gets hurt.

p.s Gracia I am sorry. It must be hard producing a magazine every week and still managing to keep fresh info on the go. Oh and stop using the word next. Ping words do not make you sound young.

Wana See Something Horrific?

I won't write much, right, instead I will give you a warning. What comes next is not something to be messed with. It is a lethal mix of shoe on croc and must be feared by all. No messing people. This is the real deal so deal with it! Lock up your daughters, in fact lock everything away. It is a CROC-DECKSHOE-MASH-DEATHRAY-HELLHOLE. I'm sorry. So, so sorry.




ps Has anyone else noticed how Katy Perry actually looks like a man?!

Is It A Man? Is It A Woman?

Is it a tumour?! Today's rant comes from my reading this month and the A/S seasonal i-D and Pop magazines last night. I know I've had a go at fashion magazines in the past but of late they have been getting better. In fact I loved the editorial in Pop and I don't usually read editorials. But back to the point, it wasn't the way the mags were written, it was some of the fashion included inside.

I'm not one to judge on appearance but some of the "fashion" I saw was just silly. To start with let's take a look at i-D. P.56, the title is 'Shape and Form: Build, make destroy. Taking a look at the two pictures below the heading it is clear to see that the two designers have clearly thought about doing all three and ended up only the latter. Giles and Junya Watanabe are the convicts up for trial. Starting with Giles.

i-D described his season's work as "sexy michelin men". I'm quite sure that that is an oxymoron. To be fair it looked like someone had given the model a dress made out of an air bed and then blown it up. I wish we were in the days when fashion all about looking a billion dollars. Not like an oversized blueberry. If I could find you a photo of it I would happily pop it down. Instead I'll move onto Junya's work before I annoy someone.

Now it was her work that got on my nerves the most. I can easily relate her work to conceptual art. Now I'm not one to be biased either but personally I find Stuckism a LOT better than the YBA's. I've drifted off subject again. In short I am not a fan of conceptual rubbish. Therefore when I saw a woman wearing what appeared to be a pair of tights over multiple tumour like growths coming out of the top of her head needless to say I wasn't very impressed. I-D described it as "sculptural face covering turbans." To me it looked like something out of Resident Evil. Utter rubbish. I mean how can you say "Oh yeah I totally get what she is getting at," because what she is getting at is NOTHING. If the film Idiocracy was real this is what fashion would be like.

On the other hand I found Pop's mixture of cheese and jewellery very refreshing. I always like their Juxtapositioning of strange items. Although some of the time it makes little sense it always makes me chuckle. Oh and i-D is worth reading. I just found a couple of articles exceptionally goriffic. I loved their interview with Stella McCartney.

Rant Over.

Henry must be kicking himself!

Mr Henry Holland, producer of fine goods and head of the House of Holland. A name that many of you will know, possibly due to the rocketing fame of Agyness Deyn, possibly because you were one of the first people to rock a slogan t-shirt. Either way if you know him or not you will definately know his work; those day-glo tops with comical and rhyming slogans about various celebrities and fashionistas.

In the early stage of their lives these tops where the cheeky wares of the well dressed and those people who are always two hearbeats ahead of the trends. Then things changed. For the worse. Somehow the tops became a national phenomena. Everyone from rich to poor, old to young was wearing them. But they certainly weren't wearing old Holland's slogans. Nope this happened to coincide with the nu-rave fever. As a result the even brighter copy t-shirts adorned things like "Frankie says rave" and the revival of "Drop beats not bombs". Just writing these makes me cringe. I can happily say I never bought a silly slogan t-shirt.

Back to subject, so now fashion had moved on. Rave was no longer a featch term to drop into a conversation nor was it seriously used as a statement. It had gained more of a tongue in cheak meaning. Well for the It kids it had. But those among us who shop at sport world and jd sports, well well well. Now they just kept it all alive. You see the tops had become their staple upper half item. So when everyone started to think Doherty had some style ideas and swapped their glowsticks for strawhats and Fred Perry poloshirts the more "sport centered" to put it nicely were keeping The House's first escapade alive.

Mr Holland, you must be kicking yourself. At least they won't be able to afford your sunglasses.

There's Something About..

Fashion Writing. It sucks. I am pretty sure that in most sectors of journalism when an editor becomes an editor it is because they are prolific writers. Not simply because they can put the most exclamation marks on the end of a sentence. But it would seem that that is how most fashion writers manage to get into the business: they simply have an over dramatic writing style and thus are given a job for being 'down with the kids'. I am a kid. And they are not down with me.

For a while in my life I really enjoyed reading i-D and Pop as they seemed to be cool and up to date with trends I could actually relate to but of late I can't read a single article without cringing due to lack of personal flair and sheer boredom. I am quite sure that nu-rave is thouroughly dead and rightly so. Yet somehow the two mags mentioned earlier manage to dig up some reference to glow sticks or other crap. Surely they should be trying to update all the time like Cheekbone in Mighty Boosh!

Now I'm not trying to rewrite the rules of fashion journalism, as obvisouly I have no influence in it (just you wait) but if the afformentioned magazines could possibly become slightly more like Vice or Vogue then maybe they would keep up in the world of fashion and keep us interested. Well me at least. I'm not conddemming them, only a few of the writers. Just please, please learn to use proper punctuaion and write like your 20 not 13.


P.s Aggy Dean we need something new and clean. Like a new style. I hate it when things become over hyped and over used. I'm all for you "keeping it punk" and what not but lets try something other than the music scene. Or why not champion a new fresh face Sir/ Madame Fashion Magazines.

Rant over. I'm back in the writing swing.

I'm Seeing Eurovision..

Words cannot do these three Eurovision outfits justice. Nor can they explain Tellier's genius. So how about some pictures instead.



Now Sebastien TELLIER. He is uber cool. I'll do a post on him.

Done and Done

Crocodile Hunting

It may not be sunday but why does that mean I can't be cynical about poor style choices. In fact really I should be looking at an idol of mine but I gave you two yesterday. What are you lot? Hunrgy fashion sharks or something!

Well I racked my brain and came up with something that gets on my nerves ALL the time. CROCS

Their little rubber devils can kill (see the article in The Sun, i know it's not exactly a reputable paper), they look stupid and even worse you get middle aged people in them. It's like they are trying to relive their jelly wearing childhoods. (Jellies are class)

It may appear that I have a strong dislike towards those who are more mature (yet try and act the opposite). I realise that one day I will to buy a boat or a poor sportscar and dye my hair a grim shade of blue. But until that day I will continue to bellitlle those of our elders who believe that acting half their age will cause them to actually become younger. If the wind changes direction your face does not experience rigor mortis.

Back to the croc bitching anyway. So yeah why were they invented. Like uggs they have no place in society. At least uggs are warm. If i wanted to wear badly made sandals I would go to a market. A bad one. And the price. I mean come on. TOO MUCH!

I think the only time I would accept the croc is on a small child. Then it's cute. But mulyiply their age by 10.3 and you get a person in serious need of advise. Wait no. Another time is in the home. Where no one can see you. Then you can be an 'in the closet' croc feind.

Well that's antother rant over. I leavve you with the 'Safari croc' as I would call them. If only Steve Irwin were here to wrsetle with these man-eaters.

Wait there's even a croc hating blog!
ps Uggs you're next

Crimes

Okay so I've realised that you don't have to write an essay to have a good post. So I'm going to write in chunks, giving off nuggets of information.

I've also had the revalation that doing something periodically could work well. So let's start with crimes against life. Life being fashion and crimes being monstrosities and to start of the series I'm going to look at something truely bad. Not good bad but bad BAD. The Socks and Sandals look.

The look is closely associated with the Germanic Countries (no offence to those countries), although it has been seen with the more seasoned members of most countries in the world. Appearing out of the mists of time, the sock and sandals look seemed to have come as soon as socks were developed. It is possible that in ancient Greece or Rome a person had found some cloth and worn it under their sandals. From there the hideous crime began.

Now you may be wandering why there's a problem with socks and sandals. I'm not biased against anyone and if you enjoy the feeling of sweaty tootsies then go for it.But let me warn you, you look like a pedophile. Or worse you've hit your midlife crisis. Or both! Therefore my fashionable friends stay away from socks and sandals.

If it's warm and you want to wear sandals go for it. But keep those socks away. It's a remedy for sweaty feet. If it's cold then why the bloody hell are you wearing sandals in the first place! Do you want frostbite or something. Stick to proper footwear. Or none at all.

He wants your children. And thinks he's about 20. Size 20 more like.